The Exterior:
Not the type to mix performance with good looks, the 80s Mopar Team thought it would be a funny joke to put the ugliest damn paint ever seen on my K. I guess they just didn't want to take the focus off the monster engine. It kind of grows on you though, especially when you add custom stripes (special thanks to Wal-Mart for that super dull black primer) in a complementing flat color. I do hope you're taking notes, fellow K-Pimps.
You may (but probably didn't, these pictures didn't all turn out so well) have noticed that I have amazingly cool wheels. No friends, they're not actually rims. But if you rush to your local Wal-Mart like I did and are looking for something more fun (and only slightly less pointless than burning it) to do with $30, you can buy imitaition-chrome 14" spinner hubcaps to get your ride turning a few extra heads. "The car's stopped, but the wheels are still moving!"
Look! In this picture I tried to get the spinning hub to blur, but the damn camera costs more than my car, and de-blurred the shit!
As a final touch, I decided to give this baby some extra roar with "The Honda Tip." Also purchased at my favorite performance part superstore, this little baby cost me $7, well worth it to tout my "custom exhaust" to anyone who will do anything but beg for money when they hear how super duper cool my daily driver is.
The packaging promises that the tip "Makes the ripping sound, just like a real racing muffler!" Strangely enough, it also convinced me that my car would morph into the pictured Porsche 911. I decided that was an impossibility, however, and plan to sue if my car does indeed transform into one of those comparatively slow dust-eaters.
Well, I hope you like my car. Wait, what am I hoping for? If you don't like it, let me know and I'll smoke your ass in a drag race. Do you think I'm joking? My completely made-up not-confirmed statistics show me running a five second quarter mile! And I don't know of any other street legal car that can keep up with that...
Page 1: Introduction
Page 2: The Hemi
Page 3: The Interior
Page 4: Not again...
Please don't correct me in the Guestbook, I'll have to slap you.
