A few things I found funny the other day...most of them, if not all, are very true.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are the rules:
* Please note that these are all number 1 for ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You?re a big girl. If it?s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don?t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = sports. It?s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And NO, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying IS blackmail!
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
- Subtle hints do not work!
- Strong hints do not work!
- Obvious hints do not work!
- JUST SAY IT
1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That?s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you?re fat, you probably are. Don?t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus didn?t need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing?s wrong. We know you are lying, but it?s just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don?t want an answer to, expect as answer you don?t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, REALLY.
1. Don?t? ask us what we?re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics such as:
- sex
- sports
- cars
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes!
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this, and yes I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But guys dont mind sleeping on the couch, its like camping!
Page 1= You are here
Page 2= Things not to say to a cop
Page 3= The Rules of Men
Page 4= Rice-Import-Domestic Disclaimer
