CAMARO ENVY

For years the Camaro has meant a great deal to owners of the car, but what one rarely reads about is what others think of the Camaro. The automotive editors at Edmund’s Publications pondered on this after extensively road testing a 1996 Z28 SS. It is an insightful examination of what goes on in the minds of other drivers when encountering Chevrolet’s alpha-numeric musclecar.

Why are we quick to judge drivers of Camaro’s Is is because they drive poorly? No, Camaro drivers typically pilot their cars as well as the rest of the road-going populace. Is it because they blast obnoxious music out of their vehicles? Although this is sometimes the case, it is certainly not the norm. . . .. They must be doing to something warrant all of this negative attention. We think that it is because they drive fast, and as we all know from high-school driver’s education classes, speed kills. Not only do Camaro drivers exceed the speed limit, they usually do it (in) such a way that it makes the non-Camaro driving population look silly.

By accelerating quickly away from a stoplight, Camaro’s can safely maneuver for the best lane position when traffic is heavy. With plenty of torque everywhere in the powerband, Camaro drivers can cleave through freeway traffic like a hot knife through butter. In other words, by stomping on the long, skinny pedal, Camaro drivers can exit the sad, slow world of minivan madness and sedan sluggishness.

“This makes minivan and sedan drivers green with envy, and in retaliation, they try and slow the Camaro’s pace; often performing amazingly stupid acts to make sure the Camaro dosen’t get ahead of them. We at Edmund’s think that it is a psychological thing. People don’t want to be passed, because in some strange Darwinian manner, speed implies power and success. Thus bottlenecking traffic in a Lincoln Continental or a Dodge Caravan, drivers can assure themselves that they are, in fact, swift and powerful, when in reality they are a crippled mountain goat ready to be drowned by the lurking cougar.”

“Nowhere, it seems, is this psychological dysfunction more apparent than on the streets of Denver, Colorado. The fear of being passed here is so great that drivers will not move out of the left lane of traffic even if they are going 10mph under the posted speed limit with a horde of fast movers descending on them like locusts. Witness the experience of our managing editor in the Camaro SS. While serenly driving down C-470, a big looping stretch of freeway that circles the south and west parts of Denver, Chris came upon a minivan slowly cruising in the left lane. Our test Z28 SS was bright red and equipped with GM’s ever-present daytime running lights. We are certain that only the certifiably blind could have missed the car. Chris hung respectfully behind the minivan for a minute of two, waiting for the driver to notice him and move over. Since this was Denver, Chris's politeness was sorely wasted. The minivan failed to move for the faster moving traffic, forcing Chris to attempt to pass on the right. When Chris moved to the right lane the minivan moved too; straddling the centerline, leaving no room to pass on the left or right. Chris, who has much more patience than this editor, moved back to the left lane, thinking that perhaps the minivan was trying to move right to let him by. No such luck. Once the minivan had Chris and the pesky Z28 SS back in the left lane, he too moved back into the left lane.

This process was repeated a number of times, with Chris’s blood pressure slowly rising, until a third lane opened up, at which point Chris dropped the hammer and flew past the idiotic minivan. The minivaner, noticeably chagrined at having his masculinity unsuruped by the threatening, shark toothed Camaro, immediately sped up an rode Chris’s rear bumper. Ironically, the traffic ahead of Chris, slowed quickly, causing Chris to come to a abrupt stop. The driver of the minivan wasn’t paying attention, great idea when your tailgating, and failed to notice that traffic in front of him was no longer moving. He had to jam on the brakes, and according to Chris, spilled coffee all over himself in the process. Final score: Camaro 1, Minivan 0.”

“ My guess is that this is the real reason people hate Camaro’s. Camaro’s are aggressive looking cars often owned by aggressive drivers. Drivers that are not likely to suffer fools or left-lane bandits kindly.
As a result, when someone tries to hold a Camaro up, they are likely to be embarrassed. Nobody likes to be embarrassed, so the resulting animosity towards Camaros grows at each occurrence. If you are suffering from this, Camarophobia, we offer a simple solution: go out and buy a Camaro. You don’t necessarily need a Z28 SS; less exotic varieties will suffice, and your fears of being passed will be alleviated. Not many vehicles are faster than a Chevy Camaro to begin with, and for the price, there is nothing that’s even a match.”

AMEN!!

(Camaro , Written By Antony Young, Lowe & B. Hould Publishers 2000, 2003)

(I take NO credit for the writing or production of this article. If anyone having anything to do with the production or writing of this book has objections about the artice being on my page, mail me and I will remove it.)

Page 1 Car Summary
Page 2 MOD Pics and Install Tricks *AND* DYNO #'s
Page 3 External mods
Page 4 Car Pictures
Page 5 Car Shows
Page 6 Audio Information
Page 7 My old Firebird
Page 8 ARTICLE--Camaro Envy !Must Read!