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Page3 - My Beast
Page4 - Tech Tips
Page5 - Other Nice T/A�s
Page6 - Hot Women
Page7 - REDNECK SHIT (Youre here)
REDNECK SHIT
Driving Etiquette for Rednecks
� Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
� When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
� When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
� Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
� Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.
� Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
� Put Brush Guards on all your vehicles.
� When taking Shortcut off road, be careful as not to hit anyone who might be walking.
� You must have big tires on all vehicles (even cars).
� Your Camaro is not street legal even if you do have a license.
Redneck Medical Terms
Artery The study of paintings.
Bacteria Back door to cafeteria.
Barium What doctors do when patients die.
Benign What you be after you be eight.
Catscan Searching for Kitty.
Cauterize Made eye contact with her.
Cesarean Section A neighborhood in Rome.
Colic A sheep dog.
Coma A punctuation mark.
D&C Where Washington is.
Dilate To live long.
Enema Not a friend.
Fester Quicker than someone else.
Fibula A small lie.
Genital Non-Jewish person.
G.I.Series World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail What you hang your coat on.
Impotent Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff A Doctor's cane.
Morbid A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates Cheaper than day rates.
Node I knew it.
Outpatient A person who has fainted.
Ovaries You get to try again.
Pap Smear A fatherhood test.
Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative A letter carrier.
Recovery Room Place to do upholstery.
Rectum Pretty near killed him.
Secretion Hiding something.
Seizure Roman emperor.
Tablet A small table.
Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor More than one.
Urine Opposite of you're out.
Varicose Near by/close by.
There may be a redneck in the ghetto if . . .
. . . somebody says, "Yo man" and he says, "Yo mama."
. . . someone says Ho, he starts looking for cotton the chop.
. . . he thinks he can leave his rifle mounted in the back of his parked pickup truck overnight.
. . . girls walking the streets ask him for a date, and he feels this is his lucky day.
. . . he hears a guy standing on the street saying, "Crack, Crack, Crack," and he pulls up his bluejeans.
. . . he thinks greens is something you play golf on.
. . . his wife tells him she is being blackmailed and he wants to know what dude she is having an affair with.
. . . he thinks it would be funny to go out as a ghost on Halloween, and run around the ghetto with a white sheet over his head.
. . . someone asks him for a forty, and he gives them two twenty dollar bills.
. . . he walks up to the local basketball court and says, "You BOYS are making to much noise."
. . . he starts his pickup truck and people think they are getting shot at.
. . . he see's a black man running from the cops and hollers, "Cledus get in the truck!"
REDNECK PICTURES
You Might be a redneck if...
Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
You think safe sex is a padded headboard
You may be a Redneck if ...
You and your dog use the same tree
You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."
You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law
Your kids take a siphon hose
to "Show and Tell."
You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took
You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph
The blue book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas it has in it
Anyone in your family died right
after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".
That billboard that says,
"SAY NO TO CRACK"
reminds you to pull up your jeans
Jack Daniels makes your list
of "Most Admired People"
You Might Be A Redneck if...You can't remember what the blue tarp in your front yard is covering.
You Might Be A Redneck If...
Your grandfather died and left everything to his
widow... but she can't touch it 'til she's fourteen
You Might Be A Redneck If...
You've ever tried to pass an entire funeral procession
You Might Be A Redneck If...
Your driving a vehicle with no original body parts
Page1 - My GTA
Page2 - Funny Rice Pics
Page3 - My Beast
Page4 - Tech Tips
Page5 - Other Nice T/A�s
Page6 - Hot Women
Page7 - REDNECK SHIT (Youre here)
