The Teenage Males Guide To Getting With A Bitch

Chapter 1: What to wear and where to go?

When going to you're local bar or dance club to pick up a bitch you should always wear the tightest clothing you possibly can. This shows the bitches that your okay with your body. We suggest wearing clothes at least 2 sizes to small. The beer gut is the latest trend so if you have a beer gut, don�t be afraid to sport it. Don�t be afraid to wear shirts with holes in them, it doesn�t mean you�re a scum bag, and if someone calls you one just tell them to go fuck there mothers. Muff Diver shirts are always in style. The best places to pick up a good bitch are in the following: at your local STD clinic, in the Salvation Army, Wal-Mart, Kmart, or at a random funeral.

Chapter 2: Approaching a Bitch.

All of us men know how hard it is to "Approach" a bitch. Don�t just approach any bitch. You don�t want to embarrass yourself do you? SO you must pick a bitch who looks like she isn�t better than you or that you think she could be packing some funky diseases in her crevices. After that our first word of advice is, don't be afraid just go for it. Initiating conversation is half the battle. Always remember that. Think of things to say before hand. Ask her questions like; how many dads does she have. Has she ever gone down on another bitch? Ask her if a member of her own family has ever raped her.

Don�t be afraid to show off your Northeastern PA Accent. Most bitches are impressed with a thick NEPA accent. Use words from your local area; show that you aren't afraid to express where you are from. Use words such as tree, twoo, aint, N�aint and most of all muff

IF the bitch doesn�t lock on to your charm and pores her drink on you and tells you to fuck off or threatens to have her boyfriend beat you up, you tell her that she isn�t anything but a skank ass ugly butter face bitch and you are turning her down.

Chapter 3: What to Say to the Bitch
(Only use this if she doesn�t pore her drink on you.)

When talking to a bitch there are two methods you can take. The direct one, which involves lines like; �Hey Bitch want to Fuck?� or �Hey bitch you have one tight ass how bout I ram my dick in it!� Or you can choose the better of the two methods, which is being nice and humane. �Hello what�s your name� �Can I buy you a drink�. And once again the straight forward way, � What�s your name you crazy faced bitch� �Hey you swamp ass bitch buy me a fucking drink!� (Results may very)

Chapter 4: What to do if the Bitch doesn�t say no!
(Or press sexual harassment charges, or have her boyfriend beat you up.)

The most common thing if you get past this stage is some good old-fashioned intercourse. O� and of course oral sex. Most men have a rule if they can clearly see and STD they wont touch it. I say fuck this rule. STD�s are everybody�s friends. Look at those people in the herpes commercials they enjoy it they kayak and rock climb. Sounds like fun to me. Go for it. After you get through assessing the bitches STD�s go straight for the kill no foreplay. Not like when you engage in with your sister when you parents aren�t home. If she doesn�t seem in the mood tell her a story; perhaps about last Christmas when your uncle Joey took you into your room and ass raped you. That should do it. So after that you bend that bitch over and you fuck her till her eyes pop. Unless of course you are a premature ejaculator then in that case give her the best 6 seconds of her life. (Our next book will be solely on Premature Ejaculation and how to blame it on the Bitch.)

Chapter 5: Meeting the Bitches Parents

If you have had several sexual encounters with the bitch and your penis hasn�t fallen off and you haven�t died it might be time for you to meet the parents. If this is the case brace yourself but don�t worry. Look at her and then realize that her parents� are going to be just as fucked up if not worse. So here is what you should do. Make sure you wear a pair of work boots laces undone and tongue hanging out. Wear tight stone washed jeans with holes in the knees. Also make sure you have on your favorite WWF shirt. Don�t be careless; don�t take up room in the driveway instead pull into there font yard. That way if the dinner didn�t go so well you can leave nice peel out marks in their front yard on your way home.

Chapter 6: Breaking up with the crazy bitch.

This is a very important part of the whole process. You want to break up with her in a way that she knows you used her but that she doesn�t go psycho and kill your family. This can be tricky. The best way is to hit her with you vehicle and then while she is on her deathbed break up with her. That way you know she won�t be coming after you or your family. Or you can simply be a man and tell her the best way over her answering machine on her phone or through a family member. This is the easiest but can be the most deadly.

Closure:

Remember bitches are complicated peaces of shit and cant get difficult sometimes but if you remember these simple things we have told you it should be no problem at all.

If you follow the simple instructions we listed above you shouldn't have any problem getting a woman as beautiful as these: