getting my car out of the snow!

playing in the snow!

Are you a DSM'r?
1. If you've ever had to explain crank walk to a mechanic....
2. If you have a garage full of spare engines, just in case....
3. If you've tried to bolt your old 14b onto a riding lawnmower....
4. If you've hit your head on the B-pillar during an AWD launch....
5. If you have a running tab at the local transmission shop....
6. If you go rallying in your daily driver....
7. If your driveway has ruts in it cause your car never moves....
8. If people recognize your car by the sound of it's lifter tap....
9. If you drive 5 extra blocks for a gas station that has 1 more octane point.
10. If you get refused on your tread wear warranty every time you have tried, because of poor alignment.
11. If you bought half of your performance parts at Home Depot.
12. If people ask you what's wrong with your car because it keeps making this noise.
13. If your friends get beat in a race and call you immediately after to rematch for them.
14. You have had to send a tow truck back to the towing garage because you needed a flatbed.
15. You always request parts for an Eclipse because the parts stores always lookup the AMC Eagle.
16. You drop whatever you are doing when the UPS man brings a new part for the car. And then spend the rest of the day installing it.
17. You only carry a Palm Pilot to log your engine's data.
18. You change your tires, plugs and fuel curves for the winter.
19. You know more about the 4G63 engine than some engineers at Mitsubishi.
20. Your wife/girlfriend wishes your car never existed.
21. If you think your DSM should have come with a flatbed/tow truck following you from the factory.
22. You don't let people drive your car into the bays because its "quirky"
23. You spent more fixing it than it cost
24. Your eye automatically catches EVERY DSM that drives by on the highway
25. Before racing someone, you 90f the time know their engine, hp, and Performance specs. And you usually know if you will win or not
26. Right before u start modifying, some d*** maintenance thing breaks down (i.e. alternator, starter)
27. You barely have money for fun time, or put fun $$ aside to modify your DSM.
28. You wake up in the morning look out the window and go "ahhh, what a nice car" OR You wake up and see your d*** broken car and curse up a storm
29. You look at riced out civics and roll your eyes
30. Right after you get your paycheck, you get online and spend it all on parts the same day.
31. Every tire shop/parking garage/car wash/repair shop guy stalls out when he lets out your ACT 2600 clutch.
32. Every car with an alarm triggers in parking garages as to say "hello."
33. Your exhaust note is so deep and unique that people expect you to pass by 1/4 mile before you get there.
34. When you go to fix something minor you ALWAYS expect a major hassle and something else is GOING to go wrong.
35. If you're on a diet because you ran out of weight reductions for your car...
36. If a junk yard to you is an upgrade yard.....
37. If your car consists of parts from more than 10 other DSM's.....
38. If you have a stick in your car, that's job is to prop up the hatch.....
39. If your passenger window takes more that five minutes to get all the way up.
40. If you never put more than a quarter tank of gas in your car.....
41. If your DSM is the most unreliable car you have ever owned, but still you're favorite......
42. The UPS guy comes over for a beer on a regular basis
43. Your bucket of extra parts pulls 60 bucks on eBay
44. Paypal.com sends you Christmas cards
45. An average oil change involves fresh oil, new filter and draining the catch can.
46. The pages of your shop manual have more wear than the tires on your car.
47. You know the meaning of VFAQ.
48. Some people would like to go to Europe, you'd like to visit Normal IL.
49. You get in a lot of races because your car "auto-revs" for you.
50. You've custom fabricated a carbon fiber cup holder
51. You've almost been strangled to death by the automatic seat belt.
52. You can launch your oil dip stick 20ft.
53. You know that your car has a built in toolbox under the hood....
54. If a Honda owner ever looked at you funny when you say "free mods"
55. You have a bucket full of nuts and bolts and your car seems to run fine and you can't figure out where the heck they go.
56. You carry a hydraulic jack with in your car at all times
57. When being towed you have to lift the front end of the car with your hands so the intercooler clears.
58. When the flatbed finally comes, you ask the tow guy for a piece of wood to put under your right rear tire (or left, if it's a 2G) so you don't scratch your muffler
59. If your AWD is equipped with automatic windshield wipers enabling system after every hard launch... (1G)
60. If every time you launch, you can't see the d*** road all the way through 1st gear (AWD)
61. You hear a different vibration inside your car for different RPM points (1G)
62. You are afraid to grab your Crank Pulley and check for play (2G 7-bolt)
63. When people say "is your car running again?" you say "kind of"
64. The tow truck guy lets you accumulate frequent towing miles.
65. You've ever got mad, kicked your car and then apologize to it and swear you'll never do it again.
66. You've ever given yourself whiplash taking off from a stop sign.
67. You can recognize sections in your shop manual based on the color fluid that's staining the pages.
68. You have a laptop with a data logger and manual CD on it in your car at all times.
69. You have ever explained "fuel cut" to a scared female passenger.
70. People that can "drive stick" stall your car out 5 times before they get it out of the driveway.
71. You have gotten in many arguments on how "your car cant be THAT fast," It is a frick'en 4 cylinder Mitsubishi!!!
72. You have to explain to a mechanic of 35 years what "boost creep" is.
73. You buy a K&N filter and call it an "intake"
74. You thought you blew up your DSM but in fact the dipstick popped out and sprayed oil all over the manifold causing massive smoke (come on, we all freaked out a little the 1st time the dipstick blew out)
75. When someone asks you how the car is running you never say "awesome" or "great," just "its running."
76. Your friend with a 5.0 says "at least my car is reliable."
77. A normal weekend involves removing your transmission 5 times.
78. You work all week so you can fix your DSM on weekends.
79. Your friends think "phantom knock" is some sort of ghost movie.
80. If you drive your car for 10 minutes, park if for 2 hours, come back out...it only takes 2 minutes to have the heat full blasting again.
81. You hear non-informed DSMer's saying that Chrysler over-all as a company sucks, and you have to re-inform them that they are downing their own car.
82. After racing the Honda boys with their "pimped" out cars you have to pop your hood for them to believe your cars almost completely stock.
83. You've owned something with the name Horse-Johnson in it...
84. You are completely dumbfounded when people say that eclipses and talons are hot but lasers are slow?
85. When you get asked at least once a week if 'That Hump' is supposed to be on your hood.
86. Your friends with the tow company and they stop by every weekend to see what the new "project" is this weekend.
87. You dance every morning when your car cranks over.
88. Your "grocery getter" is a 12 sec car...
89. You have the shop manual memorized.
90. The local shop calls you to ask a question about a broken Eclipse they have in there shop.
91. When people drive your car and ask "what's that noise..." you always reply with "which one??"
92. People driving your car for the first time get a new understanding for the word torque steer.
93. You're a DSMer if you made your own exhaust and IC piping.
94. You're a DSMer if you instigate people to race in the rain.
95. You get Xmas/birthday cards from the tow truck driver's kids thanking you for keeping daddy employed..
96. You are offered stock options at the NAPA.
97. You have better attendance at he parts store than the employees.
98. The tow truck guy bought you a cell phone just so you can call him.
99. The UPS/FedEx guy calls to make sure everything is OK if he hasn't delivered to you in a few weeks.
100. People constantly come up to you in the parking lot and say "you left your car running" or "I wouldn't leave my car running in this part of town..."
101. Your left leg starts developing huge muscles due to your 3rd new ACT2600 clutch.
102. If you have had to remove your Radiator fans, because they just don't fit in front of that Turbo
103. When at the strip you sit around with the Z28s and WS6 guys and talk s*** about hondas
104. If you can get your 4cyl to a 12.5 1/4 for $775.
105. If you know what Galant VR4s are.
106. If you know that you don't need nitrous to run a 1/4 mile in under 12 seconds
107. You have more gauges then an airplane
108. Your best car is still on blocks in the yard and you have another year of payments on it
109. You break at least two tie rod ends on a launch
110. You know that breaking forks during a hard shift doesn't refer to waiting tables at a diner
111. "stock" means that the car has all of the parts it came with, you didn't add a thing, you just dremeled or removed a few, that's all...
112. That breaking an axle means replacing the axle and the wheel bearing because they are seized together
113. When your wife/girlfriend owns and races a DSM just like you
114. When you street/track kills reads something like XX and 0
115. When you've removed the engine from your DSM in your own garage more than once (IN the middle of ####ING WINTER)
116. When you have nightmares about getting into second gear
117. When the word SHOOTOUT means driving your DSM half way across America (for some) just to beat up on it, and not a gun fight
118. When reference to modding a DSM comes up in just about every major argument you have with a loved one
119. You have to add a quart of oil before you leave to go anywhere
120. You have to rebuild your trans every time you do an oil change
121. People on slicks with 3 times your displacement b**** about spots
122. $6,000 is the TOTAL COST of your 11 second street car, not the cost of the mods to get it there
123 You have more performance parts ready to go on your car, than on your car
124. If you're idea of the perfect date involves race gas and a turbo charger....
125. If you spend 2.60 for a gallon of gas and haven't complained about it....
126. If you have the number to on track in your speed dial directory...
127. If you know the flow numbers all of the DSM-specific turbos off the top of your head... .
128. If your palms get wet and you mouth gets dry when you come up behind a Cobra/Firebird/SS/Vette in the freeway....
129. If you spend more money on your car then you do food and rent each month....
130. If you know how to get 4 full size wheels & tires, tool box, jack,
computer, and two 5 gallon fuel containers in the hatch of your car on race day....
131. If you drive that same car 1500 miles to Ohio for one day of racing and consider this to be glorious fun....
132. If your wife/girlfriend complains and says you spend more time playing with your car then you do her....
133. If you spend major religious holidays working on your car....
134. If you frequently use 4 letter words while working on your car and kick a lot of things while using these 4 letter words....
135. If you know what the initials BCS mean....
136. If you spend all day at work waiting to get home just to go out and kick some V-8 butt at night....
137. If you dream day and night thinking "How in the HELL do I push 35-40 psi w/o blowing my engine"....
138. If you find your self staring at every DSM that drives by and almost get in a wreck cause you are not paying attention....
139. You ask more questions about the nitrous hose fittings than about Your teeth while at the dentist....
140. You complain about driving to the corner store for milk but will justify a 15 mile trek to find 101 octane
141.If your girlfreind prays that a contender doesn't stop at the light next to you.....

142.If you still put down 13 second track times in the rain.......

143.If every time you wrench you find more stuff that your car doesn't need.......

144.If you try to race a random car and realize you just raced him last week.......

145.If you think the the 3G is the STUPIDEST idea ever......

146.If you have had to remove your Radiator fans ecause they just don't fit in front of that Turbo.......

147.If you capitalize the word Turbo as if it's a name......

151.When at the strip you sit around with the Z28s and WS6 guys and talk s**t about hondas.

152. When several people have nicknamed your car the "dumptruck" becuase of the replica exhaust note.

153. When you spool right next to a kid with his window down and wwhHAA-- PSHSHhhh, blow off and break the poor kids neck, just becuse it's funny.

154. When you're dad gets scared when you order more parts--becuase he drives a 350 small block with 410 gears.

156. The 10mm and 12mm sockets are the dirtiest in the set.

157. You lose more 10mm and 12mm sockets in a month than most people do in 3 years.

158. When the guy you are racing puts up his window in the middle of the race when you hit full boost.

159. The black deposits on the rear bumper are now "part of the paint"

160. You get scared if, when launching, you don't hear a series of loud thumps coming from under the car.

161. You get worried if you STOP smelling fuel/oil/exhaust while driving.

162. Your mind starts to race when your CEL goes off.

163. You think the hump 'adds character'

164. When something on the car breaks, you spend hours on the internet researching a better, faster, and cheaper part

165. You have almost rear-ended too many people to count because you were trying to see if that was a gs-t or a gs etc.

168.If on more than one occasion an old guy in a Vette has said "what the hell do you have in there"?

169.If you buy a Super Sized drink, because you have a place to put it

170.If you price out performance parts that you can't afford to buy

171.If you get a sick feeling in your stomach every time someone tries to BS a track time

172.If you own stock in an octane booster company

173.If you have over boosted without consideration of the cosequenses, just to see what she does

174.If you though you invented something, then later found a thread describing the same thing on DSMtalk

175.If you have a favorite stop light

176.If you drive around the puddles to stage

177.If you PORT on Friday night, while your freinds are out drnking

178.If you took your car to a shop that you didn't know, they would definately fail the inspection.

179.If your exhaust could out flow sewer pipes

180.If the first thing your passenger asks is "whats that smell"

181.Every time you race, you have to put the dipstick back in

183. When you catch a rock to the hood on the highway and litterally shed a tear.

184. (in addition to 175) When your favorite light has a huge black patch of Tire Bite spread all over the luanch area.

185. When you look in the rearview between the 1-2 shift and scream-- "AHhh that one shot a flame!"
186.If the person you just beat thinks you won because of the "rocket booster" disguised as a tail pipe.

187.If when driving through the getto your car backfires and clears an entire neiborhood.

190. When you have more fun installing parts than actually using them

191. People ask you what dyno shop you use for tuning, and you laugh at the thought.

192. Your Palm pilot has no phone numbers or email addresses...it only has one real purpose

193. You take it upon yourself to make your "special blend" race gas in your basement with supplies from Painting and Home improvement stores.

194. You and the guys at Buschur, RRE, FP, and your local autoparts store are all on the first name basis.

195. Your Links toolbar in Internet Explorer is DSMTalk, DSMTrader, Paypal, and goodguybadguy.org

199. You swap out your stock fuel pump and wonder what else you can use it for.

200. You know that this sig is all to true. --> "DSM's, turning ordinary people into mechanics since 1989."

210. Your left leg is larger in mass than your right one (act 2600 users)

211. Everyone asks if you car is still running when you get out.

212- some people like listening to the radio, you prefer your windows down listening to your turbo & bov.

213- you walk around the house going "sssssssss pssssssht" "sssssss psssssssht"

214: ur mechanic calls u at 10:30 at night asking u how to turn ur car off (hehe i love turbo timers)

216: you're friends gave up calling you on weekends.. wait what friends??
216: u become utterly disturbed when u hear the terms "aluminum wing", "apc taillights", "wings west", "chrome wheels","body graphics","shift light", "honda", and "in-car neons"
221: during a hard launch, you ask your passenger to lean forward to prevent wheel hop

222: you see a wrc evo and feel the need to say something along the lines of "i have that engine"
223. .....If you get pissed at ebay when they return Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of mental disorders auctions in your search results.
226.If you still scare the hell out of yourself every time you launch

227.If your friends complain for you to turn on the A/C and you refuse cause it slows the car down.
227: u found 9387498374 problems with the fast and the furious
235. If your spark plug cover is held on by one bolt because you over-torqued the rest of them.
238. Instead of sick days at work your boss has designated "DSM days"

239. When your family gives you flashlights, blankets, roadside assistance kits, and First Aid kits for Christmas.

240. When your pay more a month for repairs and/or mods then most people pay for insurance.
242- (FWD) You purposefully wheelhop when your girlfriend is in the car to make her boobs dance.
243.If even in the freezing cold winter you roll down the windows when approching a tunnel, so that you can make the LOUDEST purge ever...

244.If one of your first mods was tearing out your AC......

245.If you can tell an entire story with smiles and no words.......
249. You get an evil-like grin on your face when a car pulls up beside you on the highway wanting to race, hears your BOV, and backs off.

250. People refuse to race you based solely on the fact that they've seen the GSX/TSi badge on your car.
257. You have been hit on the back of your head with your hacthback more than once.

258. Passenger say "oh s**t" and scramble for something to hold on too during a hard launch.

259. When people complain about the cost of 87 Octane gas, you shake your head knowing you have to pay alot more for premium.

260. A car has actually given up 3 seconds into the race
262: Being poor doesn't even bother you anymore.

263: You drive around at a set RPM and make your passenger crawl around inside the car and find the rattle.
272. When you have to go into your DSMtalk profile and take the checkmark out of the box that says "send email when replies are posted" due to the thread ".....You might be a DSMer"
274. you have to explain that it IS possible to run more than 10 psi of boost

275. the only guage in ur car that u look at is ur boost
277. you have DSMers asking what the hell your car is (1.8l guys...i had to rep...no cam bulge)

278. you have a group on all messenger programs for DSMers

279. "DSM" shows up more than once in your cell phone's phone book

280. you get more email about DSMs than junk mail

281. you can make a whole sentence out of 3 letter abbrieviations and 4 letter words and still make sense to all of your friends.

282. ...another one for the 1.8l guys, you have had more than one person ask you to pop your hood because they have never seen an engine like yours

283. ...another n/t one, turbo guys opt to take your car because its running

284. you have shown up to a DSM meet without your car (or like me and show up in a honda) because it died on the way

285. you can tell the make(mitsu/eagle/plyth.)/model(RS-t,GS/T/X, TSi ect.)/year of any DSM in 3 seconds or less.

286. you have articles of clothing that say DSM

287. you have called Satan with oil all over your hands and asked a question pertaining to the part you just removed from your car.

288. you have tranny fluid that is the consistancy of jello

289. you have a magnetic tranny and engine oil drain plugs because you need them

290. your friends nearly get into fist fights over shotgun

291. you have measured your pile of extra car parts

292. you have car parts in your bedroom closet

293. you have weighed your audio equipment

294. you hide your boost gauge

295. ...you are in debt weather you know it or not

296. the words timing and belt send chills down your spine

297. your boss knows what dsmtalk/tuners is and is working on a way to block it

298. you think that there is nothing sexier than a front mount

299. you know that your car has more American parts on it than your neighbors ford
305) If you visit the car wash daily or every other day

306) If you take every single part out of your interior including all
the plastic pieces just for weight reduction.

307) If you have pics of DSM's on your background and screen
savers

308) if you own a two car garage and you have 2 cars but yet it
seems that the DSM always takes up both spots.

309) if you park 1/4 mile away from you destination, or take up 2
or more parking spots

310) if your boost controller blocks the way of you MPH gauge
311) You decide to drive around just so people will look at you.

312) your on a 100 mile trip and your mom tells you to call when you get there, and the call comes about an hour or two earlier than expected. Then you have some explaining to do.
313) Instead of studding homework you read Import Tuner or Super Street...

314) If you take allys with tall building on each side just to hear your turbo hiss, your BOV, or your mufflers tone...

315) if you put off paying bills just to order that part you have been saving up for forever...

316) If your loan officer asked what you need a loan for and you answer "turbo upgrade"...