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Traffic etiquette:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane change is considered going with the flow.
4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear-ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs.
6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.
7. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
8. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.
9. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions, and they are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.
10. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
11. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.
12. Remember that the goal of every driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.

Ricer Definition 1

(Ricer: from the latin word Ricarius meaning to suck at everything you attempt.)

Ricer Definition 2

A person who makes unecessary modifications to their most often import car (hence the term "rice") to make it (mostly make it look) faster. The most common modifications are (but not limited to):

- Huge exhaust that serves no purpose but to make the car louder.
- Large spoiler on the back that looks like something Boeing made for the 747.
- Lots of after-market company stickers they don't have parts from, but must be cool.
- Expensive rims that usually cost more than the car itself.
- Bodykit to make the car appear lower, usually accented with chicken wire.
- Clear tail lights and corner signals.
- A "performace intake"- a tube that feeds cold air to their engine usually located in areas of excessive heat (behind or on top of the engine).

Ricer Definition 3

When a moron (see: retard, dumbass) decides to take a car (foreign or domestic) and tries to make it look fast. The car will not really gain any hp or performance, but it will gain numerous stickers and yellow paint. It can be identified by one of the following:
1. The sound of a loud fart in a coffee can.
2. The yellow blob with a bookshelf on the trunk that is 1/4 mile behind real cars.
3. A Honda that has "performance mods" such as stickers, seat harnesses, and a fire extinguisher in full view (just in case the things catches on fire when it hits 40 mph).
4. A driver who claims his car has 100hp per liter but will not fess up to the fact that his car has a total of 43 ft/lbs of torque.

Ricer Definition 4

Any of a number of persons, usually young males, who place numerous cosmetic enhancements to a vehicle in the belief that such enhancements will add performance to their vehicles. These "enhancements" include but are not limited to:

1. Incorrect badging.
2. Insanely large exhaust tips (5" in diameter or greater).
3. Spoilers & bodykits; especially those made of cardboard or plastic.
4. Offset tape stripes.
5. Single wiper conversion.
6. Oriental symbols; esp. on American cars.
Cars do not neccesarily need to be imports to be considered "rice"- ex. "Cobra" badging and/or body kit on a V6 Mustang.

Here is a typical ricer's story. If this sounds like you, you might be a ricer.

1. i put a coffee can exhaust, alteeza lights, and an aluminum spoiler on my moms ' 98 civic ( with automatic transmission), i shift into neutral at red lights and rev it up so people will thing i have a manual, i peel out so much im replacing my tires every 6 months, i was too cheap to buy real rims, but my shiny hubcaps are so cool, my oversized body kit is so big, i need 2 lanes to myself, i drive by highschools reving and burning rubber so the girls will think im cool, my car is lowered so much, i cant make it over a speedbump, i rev at every car at a redline, accelerate as fast as i can to the next light thinking im racing, when the other guy wasnt even paying attention, i put the "vtec" badge on so everyone will think my civic is "high performance" , my cold air intake triples my horsepower, horsepower is better than torque, i drive up to the local hangouts with my rap music bumpin', my bass is set so high, it gives my whole body a massage, i think everyone is checking out my ride, but theyre just thinking how retarded i look, i have a low self image, so i use my car to get attention, i put NOS and Spacrco decals on my ride, so i can be like the fast and furious guys/gurls, even though i dont even use NOS, and my my seats are stock, i say my ride is turbocharged and makes 200HP so i can sound like i know alot about car mechanics, but i wont take it to the track becuase i know it will take me 9 1/2 seconds to reach 60mph, my spoiler is so heavy, it lowers the back of my car another inch, but i think it makes me go faster yeah thats me, im a ricer!

Please, don't turn your car into a ricer. Stickers do not add horsepower and looking cool is not as important as going fast. And lose the fart can exhaust. Everyone hates it, except ricers. Remember when Dane Cook talked about a sound that make you want to punch a baby?? Well, this was the sound he was talking about, ricer fart can exhaust.


What car best describes your personality and view of life?(Awesome pics!)created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Lamborghini MurchielagoLife's ok, ur doin alright. Theres nothing spactacular going on right now in your life, but your cool with that! You and your friends are tight cuz u don't keep any secrets and you don't tell any of their secrets! Life's problems are usually solved by either your frinds or mom and dad and u really look up to all of them.

Lamborghini Murchielago
65%Ferrari F50
60%Black Lambo
60%Saleen S7
60%Dodge Viper
50%Acura Integra
40%

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