Well, there she is. Isn't she just beautiful? Have you ever seen something so. . . breathtaking? It took long hours, a lot oil, antifreeze and stickers to make her what you see here, but it was undoubtibly worth it. Unfortunatly, she died a few months back and now I drive a '95 Subaru Legacy Wagon (soon to be dubbed the "Thumpinfunkasaurus" once I get my sub installed), but her memory lasts on.
There are so many stories to tell, but we'll get to those later.
Note the custom bumper sticker, school store sheet and Japanese hobby store sticker job all over the car. In case you can't read them, some of my personal bumpersticker favorites were "Keep Honking, I'm Reloading," "I break for turtles, sticks and big leaves," "I love Beanies," and the classic "Millions of homeless vets sleep in cardboard boxes while a draft dodger sleeps in the whitehouse!" Oddly enough, I picked that up only 500 feet from the whitehouse itself.
This is the money shot. Notice the classy missing hub cap on the back right wheel. You may also notice the tape around the door and the dent. One day while driving through town, some old guy pulled out into the side of my car. He had a Subaru Outback and trust me, his car looked a lot worse. The Sh*tbox dropped his front bumper to the ground, took out his headlight and did god only knows what to his engine. Long story short, to fix the door would cost more than the whole damn van, so I got a buttload of insurance money. The door would later prove to provide much joy, like almost throwing my friend Chris out of the car when it decided to suddenly open in the middle of Kingston.
I would like to note that she did have a kicken system, although I couldn't list it because Sounddomain doesn't have radioshack components listed to choose from. She had a pair of portable Optimus 2x6" speakers duct taped to the dash. They were hooked up to a GPX portable cd player. Sounded just wonderful.
Close up. In case you were wondering about the oil and antifreeze comment I made earlier, that was due to a massive, MASSIVE engine block crack. I can't emphsise massive enough. It needed oil every week, antifreeze every other day (I'm not kidding) and a vast array of oil leak stopping junk that did as much as throwing bricks into the grand canyon would do. But the block fissure isn't even the beginning. The tirods were shot, the ball bearing were dead, there was an unknown swishing underneath the back seat, busted back tail light, one functioning door (after the accident), brakes wouldn't work if they got wet. . . some other little things I can't remember. Oh yea! I forgot the best part! When I would break a little fast to come to a stop (most of the time), she would make a funny noise. Then, when I hit the gas, the engine wouuld rev as if it was in neutral, then pop into drive and the whole damn thing would lurch forward. I got used to it, but it would scare the crap out of anybody else in the car. The rattling around turns (due to the ballbearings) didn't help to ease anyone's fears, but I just told them that there were little knomes in the engine that rode on a rollercoaster and when we went around a turn, they would start up the first hill of their rollercoaster. That was the exact sound too, the sound of the first hill of a rollercoaster, that "chink-chink-chink" sound. Wow I'm babbling.
Not quite sure what I was going for here. I think I was trying to get the "Hello, my name is Sh*tbox" in view. Didn't work. Anyway, just another picture. I know you just adore the dogshit brown of the van.
I wish I had a shot of the front of the van so you could see the hoola pig (yes pig, she is now in the wagon) and dice, along with the custom spraypaint work I did on the hood. One night my friends dared me to paint "The Mothership" on my car. I went out and did it, but realize that I was just asking for an asskicking, so I just painted half of the hood green. Later, the other half got painted yellow. When the stickers on the hood started coming off, they left cool little rectangular patches of the old color. Damn, wish I had a picture of that. :(
That is about it. I don't have anymore pictures and can't get anymore since she was dismantled by a stripping garage that worked for a kidney foundation. If you give your old car to them to dismantle, they give you a tax break. Something like that, I dunno, my father took care of it. Thanks for coming.
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