Okay, Just Who Is This "Fireball" Roberts Guy, Anyway?

Edward Glenn Roberts, Jr. was born on January 20, 1929, in Tavares, Florida. He didn't start out life quite expecting that he was going to become a race driver. Yet, with a name like "Fireball", could you expect anything else?

Oddly, his fitting nickname wasn't earned in racing. It was bestowed upon him for his ability to throw a baseball. It came from his years as a pitcher in youth baseball in Apopka, FL. "Fireball" attended the University of Florida but never graduated. He preferred racing and entered his first race in 1947. He eventually found his way into the newly-formed NASCAR series in late 1949. In 1950, he won his first Grand National race in only his 3rd start!

Glenn "Fireball" Roberts went on to build a career that most other racers can only dream of. Considered by many to be the greatest driver never to win a Championship, he earned 32 pole positions, won 33 events and garnered 22 runner-up positions in only 207 races , along with a total of 93 Top-5s and 122 Top-10s. He set an astonishing 400 records at various tracks, leading a total of 5,970 laps including 1,644 laps led at South Carolina's famed Darlington Raceway, NASCAR's first superspeedway and best known as the track "Too Tough To Tame".

He would eventually succumb to severe burns received from a terrifying crash in the 1964 World 600 at Charlotte Motor Speedway. From that fiery crash of May 24 he would hang on until slipping away from complications due to pneumonia on July 2, 1964.

Roberts' 33 wins in 207 races equates to a winning percentage of 15.94%. Jeff Gordon (currently at 16.09% as of 8/4/07) narrowly exceeds that winning percentage and is the only active driver that does. Only David Pearson (105 wins in 574 starts - 18.29%) and Richard Petty (200 wins in 1185 starts - 16.88%) have a higher win percentage than Fireball Roberts of inactive drivers with over 200 starts. (Sorry, Dale Earnhardt, Sr. fans... the late, great driver of the #3 car "only" managed 79 wins in 676 starts, or 11.24%.)

Roberts' very good friend and fellow Holman-Moody Ford pilot was the "Golden Boy", Fred Lorenzen. Lorenzen did amass a higher win percentage than Fireball; 23.21% , based on his 26 wins in 112 starts. Again, Roberts' win percentage is based on 200 or more starts. The death of Fireball Roberts left its mark on Lorenzen, though. Lorenzen points to his friend's death as a major reason he retired early from stock car racing. Had Fireball lived, who knows how many more wins might have been made by the two men, and how many Championships might have been earned between them had they chosen to run a full-time schedule?

It Is Easier To Get Somewhere When You Know Where You Are Going

With a study of NASCAR history now behind me, I knew pretty much where I was going with my project. As a result, it would be much easier to proceed. Well, for the most part. Sure, there would be some niggling details that would rear their heads down the way, but now I had a much more concrete starting point, and a foreseeable finishing point.

For instance, my studies of Fireball's car hinted that, more often than not, the rather austere interiors of his Holman-Moody cars tended to be red, with unpainted aluminum interior panels and a black seat. Easy enough. But I still had the issues of cleaning and surface preparation that would have to be taken care of before I could add any color to the interior. Oh, well.

Off comes the steering wheel. Out comes the gauge cluster. Off with the rear view mirror. Out comes the seat... and there's the missing gas pedal! (Never thought to reach under the seat to see if it was there. I set it aside in case it would come in handy later.) Off with the glove box door. Out with the front seat carpeting. Out with the heater box. Out, out, damn spot!

A wide putty knife was used to scrape off the burnt headliner foam (a particularly messy job, that). Then I employed a power drill with a wire wheel attachment, and then that same drill with a sanding disc attachment. Wire brushes and coarse sandpaper finished cleaning up the burnt surfaces and exposing a lot of bare metal. (I know it sounds like it went by quickly... HAH!)

After that, it was Rustoleum spray primer. (I don't own a compressor, so Wal-Mart was my source for a LOT of spray cans.) Once the primer was dry, on went a lot of spray-on bedliner material. I used the Dupli-Coat spray-on stuff so I could give the ceiling and floor surfaces a more durable and protective layer, and because the spray-on version reached corners and crevices more easily than a roll-on version. Then the entire interior got a squirt of Rustoleum Sunrise Red, starting with the roof.

Getting Cagey In My Old Age

Now to begin modifying a Jegster 10-point roll cage kit so that it would fit the Galaxie and better resemble a NASCAR roll cage of the 60s.

The roll bar was welded to foot plates that bolted through the floor of the car, using thick and wide fender washers beneath. Welding directly to the floor pan probably would have caused some major headaches due to the vastly different thicknesses of the metals.

Where the rear struts mount over the rear axle hump, I welded a bar between them on the trunk side for some additional bracing against body twist. (Still not a major problem on a car with a body-on-perimeter frame construction.)

Even though you order the cage kit through Jeg's for a particular application, there is still a bit of extra length on all of the components to allow you to tailor it more specifically to your project. I was not fully aware of this little detail when I purchased the kit, so my job would require a bit more elbow grease than I expected. You see, I do not own a pipe cutter, so all of the cutting was done with a hacksaw, and the notching done with a DeWalt die grinder!

A '64 Bill Stroppe Mercury on the left, the completed cage of my Galaxie on the right. I thought I did pretty good, here!

Again, a Stroppe Merc on the left. I left out the strut piece that runs across the passenger side of the cage so that I could later put in another bucket for a passenger. The "hm" logo on the rear panel of my interior is not historic, just a vanity thing for me.

The Right Tool For The Job... Almost

I borrowed a 110-V MIG welder from a co-worker to get the cage together. And this is where I found a weakness that would affect my project. A 110-V system does not really heat the steel in the roll cage to a high enough temperature to create really solid, NASCAR-quality welds. But, they were sufficient enough for me to tack together the whole thing as a complete unit on my way to the next step: putting the seat back into the car (oh, and the steering wheel, too), and the taillights, and then driving 30 miles up the hill to use my dad's 220-V unit. Whereupon I would encounter yet another problem.

You see, while waiting to borrow the welder from my co-worker, I was occupying myself with changing out the old front sway bar with a newer, larger-diameter unit. Which meant that I yanked off the front bumper to make my access a little easier. (Note to anyone intending to do a sway bar changeover on a '64 Galaxie... IT IS NOT EASY TO DO WITHOUT DISMANTLING THE WHOLE DAMN FRONT END! Now, back to our story...) I had not yet put the bumper back on since I still had some lower front fender bodywork to do.

So, without a second thought (and barely a first one) I drove up to my dad's place, some 30 miles into the foothills. There was a little tire squeal coming from the front of the car, but nothing too severe, so I continued my trek... right past the Folsom City Hall and Police Department. Besides the added squeal (a result of adding the larger sway bar; I would need to do a front end alignment) I was driving a car with no front bumper or front license plate. In California, this is a no-no.

Yup. I got pulled over by one of Folsom's finest.

Is That A Red Light I See In My Mirror?

Despite the fact I had removed the original rear view mirror, I had had the forsight to weld in a couple tabs on the roll cage halo so that I could install a 5-panel Wink mirror. And at this moment in time, all 5 panels featured the front end of a Crown Victoria Police Interceptor, replete with a multitude of flashing red and blue lights. I pulled onto the gravel shoulder and turned off the ignition. Join me as we experience the latest episode of "As the Red Light Turns"...

NOTE: The exchange you are about to read is true. Only the officer's name has been eliminated to cover my butt.

OFFICER: (Peers in through passenger side window) License, registration, and proof of insurance, please.

I reached under the seat and pulled out an envelope with the requested documents and handed them over along with my driver's license. Fortunately, I had just put insurance on the car in anticipation of driving it up to my dad's place.

OFFICER: (Examining the papers) Mr. Falloon. You know why I pulled you over, don't you?

ME: Not entirely.

OFFICER: You seem to be driving an unsafe vehicle on a public roadway.

ME: Unsafe?

OFFICER: Please step out of the car and allow me to demonstrate.

I did, joining him at the front of the car.

OFFICER: Just out of curiosity, didn't you hear the front tires squealing?

ME: Yes, I noticed it, but it didn't seem that severe.

OFFICER: Oh, I think it's severe enough to take this car off the road.

ME: It's an alignment issue -

OFFICER: Yes, it is.

ME: - that I was going to fix once I got to my dad's shop.

OFFICER: How did you know you weren't cupping the tires or wearing them down to cords?

ME: Because I checked them 5 miles ago, and I have only 15 more miles to go to my destination.

OFFICER: Not by driving it there. You'll have to get it towed.

ME: What?

OFFICER: And while we're on the subject, you are aware that you require a front bumper and front license plate, are you not?

ME: Yes, I am.

OFFICER: I don't see them on the car.

ME: That would be because they're not on the car.

Now, I'm not one to argue with an officer of the law, especially one that is armed, but it looked as though we might be getting into a little round of picking nits.

OFFICER: (Pulling out his little ticket book.) Let's see what else we have here. (Walking to the side of the car and peering into the passenger compartment again.) Where's your speedometer?

ME: (Reaching into the passenger seat and pulling it out.) It's right here.

OFFICER: You're supposed to have a working speedometer.

ME: It works. It's just not connected at the moment. Was I speeding?

OFFICER: (Sighs heavily.) And where are your seat belts?

ME: They're not required.

OFFICER: They're the law .

ME: Yes, provided they were required by law at the time the vehicle was manufactured. That was 1968. This car is a 1964.

OFFICER: Are you trying to tell me the law?

ME: Only the parts that I am confident I have an answer for.

OFFICER: (Looking inside again.) A roll cage?

ME: (Looking inside, myself... just in case another one had magically appeared without my knowledge.) Yup.

OFFICER: (Looking at the ignition switch hanging precariously by the wire nuts.) Anything stolen I should know about?

ME: Well... the car was stolen.

OFFICER: (Peering over his sunglasses. For the first time since our meeting I found out he had eyes.) And I'm sure you have an explaination for that?

So I told him the story of the theft, arson attempt, eBay auction, and my plans to make a stock car replica.

OFFICER: And you want me to believe this car is street legal?

ME: Well, it would make my morning go a little easier if you did.

The officer sighed as he handed me the ticket book to sign, then handed me my ticket after I obliged him.

OFFICER: Mr. Falloon. You WILL have this car towed to your destination. If I, or one of my fellow officers, see this car driven on the road today, we will impound it. Am I clear?

ME: (Assuming my best Tom Cruise look.) Crystal. Sir.

As the officer left, I made arrangements to get the car towed and then checked my ticket. I was only tagged for the bumper and plate. Fix-it items. $10 fee.

I don't look a gift horse in the mouth.