Tale of the Winged Pony.

My only story in the Fiero, besides how I lost it:

I'd gotten a call at 2:00AM from some friends to come pick them up. I was asleep, but what can you do? Can't let 'em drive.

Went to Lucky's in Aggieville, and somehow squeezed the two into the Fiero, and dropped them off. -On the way home a white Toyota Camry started riding my bumper.

They were close enough that I could see they were two light haired guys with buzz cuts between 190 and 210 lbs.

I could see them, but not their bumper or headlights -they were that close. Being so close to Ft. Riley, I figured they were soldiers looking for an afterhours party. I was irked, but I figured I'd run across Poyntz Avenue, to the bad side of town to discourage them. (I lived at 418 Poyntz on the 5th floor in a refurbished hotel -above Harry's Uptown, for all you who have ever been to Manhattan, KS)

I was in the worst part of town, and did two figure-eights around two blocks to see if they'd lose interest.

They didn't.

Now I was worried they were going to try to roll me. There was no way in he** I was going to go home, where I'd hav eto walk half a block, unlock 2 doors and an elevator with these guys following me at a distance of a foot.

The main police station wasn't far away, so I started driving to the station -number one to discourage them -number two to report the incident.

Unfortunately, the police station was deserted, and the front door was some distance from the curb, and it wasn't well-lit. -Time for plan B.

But I wanted to put some distance between me and the Camry. So I went back to Poyntz and slowed to anticipate a yellow light, and ran the red, leaving the Camry at the intersection.

The Aggieville police station would still be open, and there was plenty of light, and the front door was only a 5 feet from the curb.

I sped past city park, and slowed when it became apparent that the Camry was still stuck at the light. I turned into a neighborhood to avoid the main streets and started making my way to the Aggieville Police station. when suddenly the Camry appeared again on my back bumper.

I swore under my breath, and my pulse started racing.

I was getting seriously pi**ed, and decided to take a drastic measure. - There were cars on both sides of the street, but 20 feet ahead there was a break.

I pulled the e-brake then nailed the throttle to pull a tight U-ey, and then turned on my bright lights & headed straight for him.

The Camry was blinded, caught by surprise, and ran into a light pole.

I nailed the throttle, got out of the neighborhood, and hit Anderson Street -Main roads didn't matter, I just needed to get to the police station. As I got near Kansas State Bank, I saw several police cars coming toward me, and one was on my tail, so I pulled into the Kansas State Bank parking lot, where I was immediately surrounded by Police who were crouched behind their doors with their guns drawn.

I took the keys from the ignition and held both hands outside the window (as my uncle, who was a cop, counseled me to do whenever I got pulled over -the cop doesn't have to worry about a concealed weapon or getting run over, & it puts them at ease -got out of several tickets that way)

I knew the lead cop.

I'd saved him and his partner from a pretty nasty situation when they attempted to arrest the head of the Black Student Union for drug dealing -unfortunately on the same day the Rodney King thing erupted.

He walked up, and I asked, "What the he** is going on?! I was just running to your station!"

He started listed off a bunch of moving violations I'd made (speeding, running a red light, etc.,)

I said, "I KNOW!! There are two guys in a Camry CHASING me! They started riding my bumper, and I wasn't going to go home while I was being followed! First I went to the main station, but it wasn't safe -So I was coming here! There are two guy in a Camry, both around 200lbs with military haircuts, they started . . ."

He then looked down the block where a wrecked Camry was pulling into the lot. The driver got out, cursing.

The lead cop, said, "They were looking for drunk drivers -decided to take their own car . . ."

I told him, "Well I'm obviously not drunk -there's not a scratch on my car -theirs' is the one that's f***ed up. They should have been in an unmarked police car, and they shouldn't have been aggressively riding my bumper. I was going to flip and ram that car next, if it showed up again! -That's entrapment."

The cop listened, and went over to talk it over with the other cops in the camry. I heard some heated words, but I couldn't make anything out - all the radios were on, and the cops still had their guns drawn on me.

I was shaking with both anger, fear, adrenaline, and every emotion in the book.

He came back and said, "They want me to give you a DUI test."

I said fine, I hadn't had a beer for hours - I was asleep.

The first thing he asked me was to recite the alphabet backwards then gave me an example with the letters out of order.

I gave him the correct alphabet in reverse order, emphasizing the letters he'd given me out of order.

Then he asked me to walk a straight line.

I told him, "You've got to be kidding, I've got guns on me, I just finished a chase, and I'm shaking. I can barely stand here, my knees are shaking so bad."

He told me to give it a try, and of course I failed.

So he asked me to take the breathalyzer test, I agreed, and passed. Although there was apparently a trace from the beer I'd had before bed some three hours earlier.

The lead cop told them I'd passed, and they walked off, and there was more heated discussion.

The lead cop said, "look, you passed, but you can't drive your car home."

I started to protest, but he said, "Their car is wrecked pretty bad, and they're out for blood, this is the deal. You can come back in the morning and pick it up."

I looked at my watch, it was now almost 4:00AM, and I had to be at work at 7:00AM. Walking home would take me about half an hour. I told him I had to go to work at 7:00AM. But he gave me a pained look, that said that was the best deal I was gonna get. In retrospect, I reckon they could have tried to get me for leaving the scene of an accident or something, but I also reckon I'd probably just end up suing the pants off of them.

Regardless, I said ok, thanked him, locked up the car, and started walking.

Got home at 4:30, and tried to rest up before walking back.

Walked back to the parking lot to see a cop getting ready to write a ticket, and have me towed. I yelled "Waitaminnit! I'm right here." & the cop looked up from my license plate.

I could have sworn it was Lee Ann Seager, a woman I was desperately in love with some 7 years before (when I didn't know anything about women). We were in engineering classes together, she was half-Korean, and the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen -Wish I knew then what I know now, but I was an a**hole about things back then. Didn't know a dang thing about women -Was still a virgin at the time, for that matter.

She said, "Oh, you're the one, huh? -Those guys are pretty hot about the whole thing!"

I replied, "Well, they shouldn't have been riding my bumper in a Camry -if it was an unmarked police car, I'd have known who it was." And tried to figure out if it WAS her or not. Lee Ann's dad was the Wabaunsee County Sheriff, but I couldn't tell for sure, and I didn't want to embarrass myself.

She said, "yeah, they're real a**holes! -Departments been talking about it all morning."

I said, "My uncle was a cop, and my aunt's a legislator, I would have flipped that car if it showed up again. They shouldn't do that to people. They don't know who they're dealing with."

I realized I must've looked like he**, and became self-conscious & nervous.

I told her, "I've gotta' run - Gotta get to work."

She nodded, and waved me off. "Have a good morning -hope you stay awake! winked at me and walked off.

I drove off for a miserable day full of fatigue. But I had a story for the two guys I drove home. They owed me big time for that!

Pic of Harry's Uptown w/ a good friend over Christmas in 1998(?)